Friday, January 22, 2010

It Is in List Form Because I Cannot Bring Myself to Narrate It in First Person

1. Purchase yarn from thrift store. Muse that no matter which way one looks at it, five cents for 50g of alpaca seems like a good deal.

Coral Scarf 002

2. Knit scarf from thrift store alpaca. Note that in unblocked form it resembles sheep guts. Consider calling it "Haggis". Chuckle at own wit. Ha ha.

Coral Scarf 003

3. Prepare to block scarf at 11:55 p.m. when household and all reasonable persons are asleep. Get scarf wet.

4. Sniff air. Wonder what that smell is. Sniff thrift store alpaca.

5. Realize too late that one has released ANGRY SMOKE MOLECULES from DECADES OF IMPRISONMENT in thrift store alpaca and now bathroom, scarf, and one's hands all smell of DAMP CIGARETTES. Compared to this haggis would have been like NOSEGAYS OF ROSEBUDS.

6. Proceed to block scarf anyway because one is on a SCHEDULE and has no choice. Choose least-favorite towel to pin scarf to.

Coral Scarf 005

7. Go to linen closet for Febreeze. Aim bottle at scarf and pull trigger. Realize after several frustrated squirts that one is OUT OF FEBREEZE.

8. Pray that smell does not leach into living room carpet overnight.

9. Smell hands. Realize this was bad idea. Go to bathroom and scrub hands raw. Cover with nice scented lotion which Fabulous Hubby gave one for Christmas. Smell hands again. Still not a good idea.

10. Make blog post and retire to bed, defeated. Vow never to purchase thrift store yarn again even if it does smell fine on the shelf.

2 comments:

  1. LOL you made me laugh very early this morning. Im sure you will get lots of suggestions on how to get smell out of things like that, dryer sheets are my favorite way *giggles and walks off*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm, dryer sheets. Never thought to try that. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete